It has been 2 week of Semester 2 started and also within 2 weeks I was being a chair lady for our event MICE but still doing nothing or any preparation. At first before i was being a leader i really wanted to be a leader because for me leader is such an easy task like you can ordering anybody to do whatever you want, but i don't know when i get the position i was trembling with fear, it was astonished me, i did not expect that i will be the leader for this big project. They said they voted me because they believe in me that i can held this position, but not me, i don't even believe in myself how can they believe in me??? Until one time i don't even want to do anything that i should do as a leader, i did not print the rubric and i don't even read it, i don't even care about this project anymore. 5 committee that have been authorize but still we are doing nothing. It is Thursday on week 3, this day will be subject MICE but I'm pretty sure that Madam Cindy (our lecturer of MICE) will not talk more details about our project. This project must has a progress every single week but like previous week we just doing lecture as usual until the end of class, she will leave the class early for our meeting for this project.
2pm:
Ajai and Nisa as our class representative preparing the laptop of Madam Cindy on the table of lecturer as a sign that Madam Cindy is ready to start the lecture. A few minutes later I heard a click pf shoes and classroom become quiet . Yes it was Madam Cindy!
The lecture has not start yet, she just come onto the classroom and directly open her file which contain our big project and my eyes was widely open and what come into my mind is "oh god, please don't make her ask about the from letter I forgot it and also the progress of the project. I didn't bring the letter and don't even start anything yet" I was terrified she will fuming mad at me, she never mad at us before because she just like our mother, she is too lovely, low profile and kind i don't want to let her down and furious over for the first time but guess what??? My expectation does not work Madam Cindy directly mentioned my name and ask about the form letter. I directly look at her with the poor eyes and sometimes I look at my classmates the i turned my attention back to Madam Cindy, feels like everybody staring at me but im trying to be frank and said that "Sorry Madam, i forget to bring the letter and left it in my room." Madam Cindy saw red and like all my classmates felt a sense of dread, I know I make everybody utterly disappointed, I started blame myself. Madam Cindy still being calm and say "you know you have to bring it today right? I have to send it to HEA by tomorrow, please send it to me by tomorrow" and since that she noticed that i don't even prepared anything for this project, she started to talk about the project, what I should do as a leader and all the committee during that lecture. Everything that Madam Cindy said was such that it triggers me to think deeper and reflect on myself but not in condescending way. I was speechless and broke down into tears. Something has to change! I started to said to myself " Sofi now you held a big responsibilities, whatever you do it will affect your classmates marks, so you have to be a good leader and role model to them."
The next day me and my personal assistant Biha started to handle all the proposal and form letter. I start to held all the meeting minute and agenda and make sure all the committee and my classmates doing their task.
15-16 April 2019
Thank God! We was held an event called Escape Room on this day and it was lit that time because that is the first Escape Room in UiTM. Madam Cindy was astonished and sense of pleasure because our profit was more than our expenses until she ask me to give a bit of speech during gathering dinner in Klagan Hotel on 29 April while giving the prizes to all the winner.
29 April 2019
I was a bit nervous and frozen with terror standing in front of people while microphone in front of me and I see lots of lecturer and student staring at me like they are ready to hear my speech. I started my speech with introducing myself and so on clearly, nicely and smoothly. I felt wretched with grief when giving a speech about our event, it is reminds me before and after I being a leader how terrified I am to hold this responsibilities but now it was a beautiful experience for me as a leader that i will never forget. Escape Room and my classmates teach me how to be more mature and responsible of doing something and solving problem. Thanks to all my classmates without them I am nothing, without them Escape Room was not lit that time. Now I know that I have to challenge myself, I finally realize that I'm actually good at leading people. Scared?? Good! Because we don't grow when we are in our comfort zone.
